From the moment they placed you in my arms, you snuggled right into my heart.

So some of this will be a bit of a rehash of the days events as I had no idea Alex would be making an appearance so soon!

 Alexandr Julius 2-27-2014



Wednesday I had to go in for an NST scan, an ultrasound, and an ob appointment with my normal doc. The US was pretty good, little guy was looking super cute, amniotic fluid wasn’t good, wasn’t great either. Then I went for my NST Scan, and all hell broke down from there. There were some things that seemed odd so they did some baby moving, feeding me ice, and all sorts of other stuff. His heartbeat was staying too steady, which, I didn’t know was a thing. So, they were trying to rouse him and it wasn’t working. Then the doc came in and started noticing fetal heart rate deceleration. He must have known he was planning on sending me to the hospital then and there because he had called over before my appointment with him began. I convinced him to let me go home and get the hubby and my emergency hospital bag (I was in last week for those of you who might have been following, so I’ve had a small duffel full of some necessities for an extended stay in the hospital.)


At the hospital they did another ultrasound only this one was a “Physiological Profile” Apparently they also did a Doppler of my placenta. He placed 6/8 on the profile which apparently is good, he just missed the practice breathing. We started another 24 hour urine as my protenuria and hematuria continued and my BP was a TAD on the higher side of the scale. They had me on full NST for my entire stay as well. After talking to the doctor and nurses it was split between, you’ll go home tomorrow, and you’ll be here until around six weeks from now, if we wait that long. Either way till he’s born.


Waited around for results, cooled my heels watching tv, and then the real hell started right after dinner time I’d say, they started noticing more and more falls in the kiddo’s heart beat. Had me try some different potions and it evened out for a while until shift change that evening. They were doing my start of shift checks and he was taking some serious falls. The nurse called the on call doctor and they decided to just keep a closer eye on things. I decided by around 1 am I wanted to try to just get some sleep. Lo and behold, sleep was making the situation worse apparently. Everytime I found the ability to sleep, he would have a drop. They’d rush in and make me move. This was around every thirty minutes the entire night. Early in the morning the doctor on call came to me and said that him and the other on call had been talking about me most of the evening and that they were extremely concerned about Alex. He explained that the cord was pushing the oxygen through too fast, and the baby was not getting it. His response to this was to slow down his own heart, to conserve energy. That is where the weird and upsetting drops were coming from. He strongly suggested delivery, and said that if we waited I would likely go into preterm labor, and the baby would not be able to handle natural birth. The stress from the contractions would cause him to stop breathing completely. I called Daniel and had him rush to the hospital, because while it wasn’t an emergency c section, it was still a hurry up and get him out c section.


Daniel and Zane made it to the hospital perfectly fine, The doctor came in and explained what was going on and why it was important that we take him early. I got prepped for my c section. Before I knew it I was in the OR getting my spinal block. The staff here was fantastic, and I actually let a resident sit in on my c section, she was super excited to get to see one, apparently it doesn’t happen often that they are doing their trials when one goes down so it was pretty cool to let her be a part of that. They anesthesiologist, named Darrell which just reminded me of my grandpa, was super nice and awesome. The doctor, who was not my normal doctor. (Dr. Wegner), Dr. Adams, did a fantastic job. The whole staff was very nice, they were constantly asking how I was doing, checking on me, and then they brought Daniel in. Shortly after Daniel came into the room and held my hand we heard our sweet baby boy take his first breath at 9:40 AM. They cleaned his mouth and nose and he just commenced to letting us know he was here! I was so proud of our little boy. He’s been through so much already. He was born 3lbs, and 6oz. 17.5 inches long. I got to watch them clean him up as daddy stood over him doting and taking video and pictures of our little guy. The whole time I’m just streaming tears down my face and the anesthesiologist is telling me, that’s your boy, it’s your son, he’s here! The doctor kept singing Happy Birthday. After getting to meet him, he was sooo small and sweet, it was off to the NICU with him, I had daddy follow along with him. They closed me up and almost exactly an hour later I was on my way to the recovery room. The whole process wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. After about an hour in recovery and some paperwork and such, they took me and Daniel to the NICU so I could do skin to skin with Alex (so glad he was healthy enough for this). He was a big sweetie and just wanted to cuddle momma. He def. Knows who mommy and daddy are. I’m glad we’ve spent time talking to him, reading to him, and singing to him. It blows my mind that he’s even here, more than that I’m glad he’s doing so well. I went up to my postpartum room and Daddy and Zane got me some lunch, we took a nap together before he headed out to start nursery prep. SO much to do! Later after some dinner Aunt Crystal decided to drop in to meet the little man, once she got here we made our way to the NICU to see little adorable Alex being super hammy, all the nurses in the ward seem to love him to death lol. I didn’t get to hold him but I did get to put my hands inside his isolette and interact with him. He’s got a bad habit of wanting to pull out his nasal tube, he’d done it multiple times, so I tried my best to talk to him and let him hold my thumb (yes his whole hand is the size of my thumb) and get him to sleep. It seemed to work, and later they told me that he went full on to sleep after I left off with him, and he stayed that way for at least a few hours. Such a sweetheart.



Today I’m doing well, I’m up and moving around some, and with the doctors and nurses permission I’m going to be showering and getting into my own clothes soon, my IV will come out completely and the catheter has already been pulled so here very soon I won’t be hooked up to anything anymore that I know of. My incision site looks great and from what I hear this morning the trooper is doing just fine in the NICU (My floor nurses can’t resist sneaking over to the NICU to see him apparently LOL) I’m happy, and while he didn’t come into the world quite the way we thought, nor anywhere close to the time we thought, he is here, and he is beautiful.


NST, Ultrasound, and OB appointment. Jesus, this is going to be a busy morning.

Today, I go for all this special stuffz. My BP which previously wasn’t much of an issue, is now starting to become one. They told me that was a possibility because with the renal issues associated with everything, I was really hoping Mister Alex would hold his horses but he’s been impatient this whole time! I don’t think 39 weeks is realistic anymore but we will have to see. I’m nervous and happy, I get to see babe this morning so at least that’s a plus,  maybe this time I’ll get to bring home some more pictures of him.

There’s still so much to do and take care of and it’s not helping the stress levels I’ve got going on, trying my best to relax but with everything on my mind it’s really difficult. Daniel has a long to do list this week and it’s great that stuff is going to get done, but at the same time I almost have to grieve for it. Now was the time for me to go out and buy all the last minute baby things and enjoy prepping for the little one, and I can’t. Simply and plainly, I just can’t. While I know it’s all for him, and it’s what’s best. It’s still difficult. Thankfully I have a loving husband to be my rock and help me through all this.

Updates on doc appt. later. Hanging in there for now. Time to shower!

EDIT: So…My US went okay, baby was doing well, my amniotic fluid is still low. NST scan didn’t go so well…A few spots of fetal deceleration heartbeat slightly concerning. The doc had to come in during the NST to look at things and noticed the deceleration along with some other concerning stuffz. Get to my appointment with the doctor and am told that he thinks the best possible thing at this point is to monitor the baby to make sure the placenta and cord are functioning okay because he’s now concerned about it. So he sent me to L&D, He wanted to send me directly over but i convinced him to let me go home and grab my bag and stuff. Got to the hospital and they did another ultrasound, a “Physiological profile” I’m not sure the actual results of that but I have to another one tomorrow. I will infact be a line jumper and this guy WILL be a March Baby. Probably before Daniel’s birthday, possible in the next two weeks. I have to do another 24 hour urine because it turns out the protein in my urine has gotten even worse. Bp is still okay so far, blood is still present as well. I have weird cuffs on my legs that alternate inflating around my calves. I have an open IV Port. My blood work for pregnancy induced hypertension came back perfectly fine, so it’s still not pre e or hypertension, it’s still toxemia at this point. Dr on call is concerned atm about him getting enough oxygen because something keeps cutting the cord off. I have another US in the morning, I’m exhausted, scared, and nervous, and sad that I am here. Updates as they come in. Thank god Zane was there this whole thing was just too scary, I hate going through all of this!

Thirty Three Weeks, This is not what I was expecting.


As you can see the bump has shrunk, and moved. Some thing have happened in the last week that are completely crazy and everything happened SO FAST. Where to start? And yes, I’m rocking a hospital band accessory.

We will start with Monday. Monday was my first day back to work after a very long time. I was healed as much as I was going to from my arm. About four hours into shift I started to swell up really really bad. I figured I was going to swell but this was pretty crazy. It wasn’t just my feet or legs, it was my entire body, including my face. This worried me some but I knew that my BP had been okay and that they hadn’t found anything that could be preeclampsiya before, I also had an appointment at my OB’s office because they closed down the week before for snow so it had been rescheduled. I figured I would mention these problems to the doctor and see what they wanted me to do about work as it wasn’t obviously going to go well.

To give you an idea, this, was my WHOLE BODY


So the first order of business on Tuesday was to address all this. Unfortunately when I went to my doctors office I didn’t get to see my doctor, or a doctor at all. I got seen by a Nurse Practitioner/Midwife. I was assured when I scheduled the appointment that even though I would not be seeing my doctor, I would be seeing one with access to my doctors schedule, this will come into play later…I wasn’t too happy about seeing a different doctor, much less being passed off. We scheduled my C-Section for April 4th, and she basically told me “Suck it up, you’re pregnant, you swell, deal with it”. She looked at my urinalysis and mentioned that there was blood present in it. I told her I’ve always had mild Hematuria, she got a slightly more concerned look and said it was well beyond trace amounts of blood and that they were going to do a culture to make sure I didn’t have any UTI’s I told her I had no symptoms of such. She told me to wait for the results and that they were going to send me to a Urologist. I left angry and concerned but felt semi okay. I decided I would try to get a hold of my doctor about work. The rest of the week was spent bouncing phone calls back and forth, calling off work to try and see the urologist, and pretty much just administrative bullshit.

Then came Saturday. I went to the bathroom and I had started spotting. No good. Kept an eye on it, and then severe menstrual style cramps, along with being dizzy, nauseous, losing the vision in my right eye, and still swelling. The spotting didn’t subside and on Sunday morning I went to the ER. They took me right up to Labor and Delivery, they hooked me up to NST, baby’s heart was good, did another urine draw, still blood present but no protein. My BP read high when I came in and then started to go down over the time I was there. The NST showed heavy irritation in my cervix. No contractions though. They did a cervical check and I wasn’t softened or dilated at all. I was sent home with instructions to follow up with my doctor.

This past Monday I called demanding they figure out whether or not they wanted to order me off work and that I wanted an emergency appointment with my OB. NOW. They called back with an appointment for me at the urology clinic Tuesday morning along with an appointment with my OB. Back to back. My neighbor was nice enough to drive me. They also informed me I had no infections of any kind. The urologist tech did another urine draw, and an ultrasound of my bladder, to make sure it was emptying. It was, then she couldn’t get all the measurements she wanted because the baby flipped from where he’s been mostly (breech and transverse) to way head down. So she just started looking at the kiddo for fun lol. Then I saw the doctor, she showed some concern for the amount of blood and said that it seems to have more to do with my kidneys which is more indicative of renal disease/disorders, which unfortunately they can’t do anything about right now. She also informed me I was leaking large amounts of protein into my urine at this point as well, my BP read 146/92 as well. No good. Ugh. So she told me to tell my OB about it at my appointment with him. 100 protein as well as the blood still being present.

Get to OB’s office, more urine draws (thank god I drink so much water, jeez.) BP reads 148/90 still high. I have also lost NINE POUNDS since I saw the nurse practitioner the week before. That’s some swelling let me tell you. Doc takes my fundal height and it’s measuring small, enough to cause a bit of concern. I talk to him about work and what I do, he tells me that’s not a good place for me to be and then he looks at my urine draw, I tell him what they found at the urologist office. He says I’m showing high protein this draw as well along with the blood. He tests my reflexes and gets an odd look on his face, goes back to his laptop and says “At this point I think it’s best that we proceed with putting you…” I assumed on bedrest/off work was going to be the end of that sentence. That…is NOT what he said. What he finished with. “in the hospital for at least 24 hours” set so much into motion that it started to become a blur. He wanted me to do a 24 hour urine collection, as well as a growth ultrasound to check baby’s growth, and an US of my kidneys and we would proceed from there. I asked if I could go get my husband and he said that was fine so long as I was back and in the hospital by around 1pm. Got back to the house, Zane our wonderful roommate who has been carting me around through all this, and Daniel loaded up in the car with my “Oh Shit” bag, as I call it (pre packed incase of emergency hospital visit, change of clothes and some hygiene products), and we headed to the hospital. I get all checked in and they get me hooked up to an NST monitor to check out his heartbeat, still no contractions just severe cervical irritation. Baby heartbeat seems okay. The growth scan worried us a bit because he’s small, but he’s going to be, because Daniel and I are small, and tall isn’t much of a family trait. The US tech made it sound like he was really behind though. I found out later that he’s developing fine, he’s in the 44th%, it’s my bump that isn’t growing right, and we have to watch my amniotic fluid.

They got me settled, and set up to do my urine draw. I got lunch and spent most of my time with nurses in and out of my room checking my blood pressure and doing NST scans, little man kept running from them.  Daniel couldn’t stay and he would have made me more nervous being there anyway I think, so I played on the computer and talked to everyone I could to keep them updated. The hospital I chose is amazing, they have great staff in a really good facility. The food was really good for being hospital food. My sister came by to visit and bring me some goodies to cheer me up. It was great to see her and it really did make me feel better.




She brought Yoshi and the elephant plus the mario coin box for the kiddo and the ponies for me. Plus chocolate! I devoured that later after the cafeteria was closed when I couldn’t sleep.

Again, hospital food was pretty damn good, and it works like room service, pick off a menu, get what you want, and they bring it up.




They came and got my nasty jug at 11:30 in the morning and I waited to hear the results. My doctor knew he was going to be on call and doing rounds Wednesday and by around 2pm he came by to see how I was doing and let me know what was up. He told me my 24 hour draw came back with 1228 protein in it. This is not good or normal. My BP is in the prehypertensive range but not astronomical. No work, no walking, and he was going to send a high risk doctor to talk to me but that he would continue my care. They needed to decide if they were going to allow me to go home or if they were going to keep me in the hospital until delivery. Which they now wanted to do AT 37 WEEKS. Queue panic. He also tells me baby is fine, on the small size but around 3lbs 7oz and in the 44th% as I said earlier, but that my bump isn’t as big as it should be and my amniotic fluid is low. They think something is wrong with my kidney function but can’t tell what because of the kiddo. Tells me to relax and that the high risk doc will be around in a while to chat with me about weather I can get out of the hospital before the baby is born or not. OMG SOMUCHPANIC.

I then found out our son must be as hard a sleeper as his father. He was so asleep they weren’t seeing him move on the NST. The nurse had to shoot concentrated noise into my belly to get him up. They tried feeding me soda, apple juice, ice, all that, no movement. She essentially set off a directional airhorn at him to wake him up. It worked! HE WAS PISSED lol.

I called Daniel and let him know what was going on, and bawled my eyes out, he reminded me that the baby will be okay even if he’s early, and that everything will be okay. I love him so much, he’s really been a rock for me through this. I waited for the high risk doctor, he was a very professional and nice man. He reassured me as much as possible and told me that he thought perhaps being in the hospital would be best, BUT I bargained with him. I promised to stay off my feet as much as possible, and that I would not over exert myself, I can’t be up and around for more than an hour or so. I had to get a blood pressure cuff for the house and take it twice a day, and if it became dangerous I had to come right back. I’m not supposed to go more than an hour from the house and if I do, not for long and I have to know where the hospital is before I go there. I had to do another 24 hour urine draw from home, along with some more restrictions. They let me keep my c section date for now, but it’s completely subject to change. With that I was discharged and told to start my next 24 hour urine draw from home Thursday morning, and call to drop it off on Friday. He also informed me (I have a different doctor now than I did initially for those who didn’t read it before) that my original doctor should have put me high risk from the start because of my hematuria. Good to know right?

Get home and settled, call the drs office the next morning and find out that my doctor is not working the day my c section is scheduled for, the Nurse Practitioner has no access to any of that information. SO, they faced me with, have him born on the date we set, which I like 4-4-14 and not have my doctor, or change the date. So, that was fun too. I still don’t know what we are going to do with that. I was told this would just be a drop off of my collection and checking my blood pressure. To an extent it was. Then I found out that from now till little man is with us I have to have two NST’s an ultrasound, and an ob appointment, every week. OYE. So now it’s just take it easy and everything will be okay. He still may be here early, but Daniel told me something that’s very true. “It doesn’t matter when he gets here, so long as you and him are healthy, that is the most important thing, don’t you worry about the rest.” I gave him a very large hug.

Today him and Zane are out shopping and taking care of some things and letting me stay here and relax. I’m doing my best to do just that and will keep doing it. I love you little Alex, mommy is trying her best to make sure you get here okay. I’ll meet you when the time is right.