Even on my weakest days, I get a little stronger, all because of you.

 

Four days ago you turned six months old. I wrote you a different letter when you were very little, today I am writing you another. You see things aren’t perfect right now, in fact a lot has changed since you were born. Right now mommy is very sick and she’s not sure what that means but she’s doing her best to hold everything together for you. I know when you get older you’ll understand better what I mean, and I hope that I’m still there beside you to help you understand. Mommy loves you so much too. I want to say I’m sorry for not doing some of the things that new mommies do. You have baby books right now that aren’t completely filled in, pictures that haven’t been put into albums or frames, and projects I started for you that aren’t finished. I want you to know that just because I don’t finish these things does not mean I don’t notice, every single thing you do is so important to me. It’s all up there I promise, I just may not get it down in a book.

 

You are amazing. You feed yourself your own bottle, you blow raspberries all the time. You pick your own pajamas and are extremely close to crawling fully. You crawled backwards a few feet the other day. You like every baby food you’ve ever tried except for prunes, but sweet potato, pineapples and pears, and apples and oatmeal are your favorites. You try to hold your own spoon, you make all kinds of noises, and stick your tongue out all the time. Daddy taught you that one.

 

I just want you to know that I’m not perfect, no mommy is, and I do my best to do everything I can to take care of you and love you the best ways I know how. No matter what happens you are my life, and you are the best thing I’ve ever done with it. You are the feather in the cap that is my life. If you’re the only kiddo I have, which is extremely likely (I’m sorry for that too, I really wanted  you to be able to have a little brother or sister to grow up with), know that I couldn’t have asked for a better son.  I will always be there for you, and I will do everything I can and give everything I can to make sure you have the best life. No matter what you will ALWAYS be loved. I promise you that much at least. I will love you for always Alexandr.