All great changes are preceded by chaos .

Those of you who know me already know the changes I’ve made recently. For those who do not, I’m not going to detail it here. Suffice it to say my world has been thrown into an upheaval. This is of course my own doing.

So here I stand, on the precipice of a new life. Feet firmly planted on the ground, staring down into a hole, looking across to the land on the other side. In some ways I feel that all I need do is run back a ways, get my footing, and jump. In other ways I feel scared of falling. I’ve taken so many risks in my life, so many twists and turns that have lead me here. I know that what I do now is what I want, this does not serve to make me any less nervous about the outcome. We can only hold on, take a deep breath and jump. Hoping that the other person is what we think and feel in our heart. I’ve been hurt in this situation before, there’s been many a time that I’ve put my faith in another and been let down.

Today I feel that’s not the case. Finding someone that I can truly lean on, that understands without question, it’s frighteningly exciting.

In some ways I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop…I keep wondering when it’s all going to go to hell like my entire life seems to have done in the past. For once I’m not cleaning up a mess or trudging through the muck. While I shouldn’t be worried about that, I am, and only time will remove that.

In the meantime I will keep my head high, get my running start, and jump over that hole, to another waiting on the other side to hold my hand.