I watched him drive away again this morning. Hearing those breaks let out and watching those tail lights from the garage kills me. I know he’ll be home again soon I just wish we had more time together. I do what I can to try and make his time at home as fun and awesome as possible. I want him to know that I miss him as much as it feels like I do. I will always do my best to make him feel at home while he’s here and make him as happy as possible. Zane is a really amazing man and he treats me like a Queen. I’m the Queen of his world and he’s the King of mine.
Life is much slower these days, though Alex seems to think it’s not. He fires on all cylinders constantly and pays no mind to the fact that momma can’t run that fast lol. I’ve learned that the house does not need to be perfect at all times, but I love when it is clean which is 95% of the time. The rest of the time Alex has his fun.
I look out and see things like this. Granted this got picked up shortly after, It’s a mark of life. The life that’s ours, messy and beautiful, and writing it’s own story as it unfolds all around and in front of me. I keep reminding myself I’ll never get this back and one day it will be me chasing him again. I’ll be begging for time with my son and he’ll be having none of it. I really must enjoy the now and not look forward too much for fear of missing what’s already in front of me.
Then there are days when we both want to give up.
On those days I play Fallout or some other game, and he does this lol.
I’ve been working on trying to lose more weight and have been fairly successful at that venture. I’ve gone from a size 14 at the end of July to my current size of 10. So four dress sizes in around 2 months. I lost two of those in the last 16 days or so. Ideally I’d like to get back to my 0/1 size as it was where I was most comfortable. I’m getting there, slowly but surely. When I went and did grocery shopping this time around I did my best to limit my purchase of carb loaded food. I -plan- to start doing Atkins again in September but we’ll see. I do not have a scale yet so no offical weight. I have a doctors appointment on the 20th so I’ll know better then what my current weight is. I was 176 last time I was seen.
I certainly look better. Please ignore the bucket and paint tray, we haz a leaky roofs. I feel better and better all the time and I’m happy. My life is in a wonderful place right now.
See you next time those of you that still read!